“I never realized what I was experiencing was real love.”
I actually didn’t know what it looked like. I was 30-something and had been in relationships many times, yet this girl had introduced me to something I did not recognize!
How in the world could that happen?
What started out as a kind of date with no real expectations turned into the most unrecognizable situation that I later realized was the foundation for real. We were headed to lunch and I had already made up my mind that I would be myself. No, pretending, no living up to the image she may have been looking for . . . just me. At this point in my life, it was about me and God, and the next person in my life would either fit in with our relationship or they wouldn’t.
Divorced and single for over nearly 6 years, I wanted to just discover who I was in God’s eyes. In some cases, many of us try to validate who we are through another person instead of allowing God to help us identify who we really are. I had developed a relationship that was more important than any outside person, and that was the path I intended to stay on. I tried door number 1 – church attendance (but no commitment to God), then door number 2 – living a worldly life, and now I’m choosing door number 3 – a relationship with God. I reconnected with a local church, but this time I went for the relationship, not the activity alone.
So back to this “lunch date”. I made up my mind that I was going to talk about the relationship I had with God at this lunch, and that was all I was going to talk about. Surely, this would run her right off! 😂 It was a great plan, but in the middle of the lunch, I started noticing that this woman was taking everything I was saying in and was ready for more! She looked at me and with a genuine look on her face she said “You’re going to do great things for the Kingdom of God.” I know what you’re thinking, “What’s so different about that?” Well, she didn’t say it to me; she said it INTO me. This lunch had nothing to do with the physical norms that usually accompany these encounters, and as a matter of fact, my intent had nothing to do with establishing a relationship at all. Maybe meeting and dating should just be about letting the other person know who you really are and not trying and win them over by doing and saying what you think they may like. When we do, sometimes we end up “winning” things we realize we really don’t want at all!
So here are a few tips that may help you get on the way to establishing a great start to your goal of a great relationship:
1. However the connection happens, ask yourself this important question: “Am I on any level of a personal relationship with God?”
– If the answer is yes then keep that relationship first and in front of you as you begin to build any relationship with a person. If the answer is no, please begin to build your relationship with God first.
2. Make a point to tell them about you, not your cars, not your house, not your accomplishments but about who you are and where you’re planning to go in the efforts to fulfill your purpose. Nothing is more attractive than a person on the move. Here is a word of caution, don’t makeup stuff! If who and where you are is not good enough for the person you’re talking to, it’s OK. Remember it’s about you and God!
3, Actually listen to what they say to you, and if you are led, speak not only to them but to them. Give encouraging, supportive, and positive statements to show that you really believe in them and God’s plan for their life. Word of caution: If that’s not something you are being led to do, don’t make anything up.
Prayerfully, these few points will get you started in seriously thinking about your relational life and help you on your journey of reaching your #RelationshipGoals. Stay tuned for my next blog, and remember:
“If you begin with God, the rest will become more clear as you walk down the path that’s set for you.”
Psalms 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
“Seek to walk the path God has for you in every area by allowing His Word to show you the way.”